Holidays, great time for meaningful conversations!
Stephany Ponciano, LGPC
Ingrid Ponciano, LCMFT
November 19, 2018
As the holiday season approaches, people often look back on their joyful memories. Perhaps you think of sipping on hot chocolate on a cold winter day or you look back on photos of ice skating with your friends and family. The holidays are supposed to be a time of family, friends, traditions, and warmth, but this time often brings stress and tension to all couples, whether they are spending their first holiday season together or those who have been celebrating for years. Which traditions should we follow? Whose family should we spend the holidays with? All couples must go through these impending obstacles that will ultimately choose the fate of your holidays. But these questions don’t have to separate you from your partner. If you both take the time to discuss these issues, it will bring you both closer together. Here are some tips to make the holiday season easier…
The sooner the better…
As the financial advisor, Dave Ramsey says, “ The holidays come at the same time every year” therefore, do not wait last minute to decide where you will both be for the holidays instead start planning as quickly as possible. If you discuss your ideas, concerns, wants, and needs way before the holidays it gives you both plenty of time to resonate, discuss, and interchange ideas. Not only does this give you ample time to come to an agreement but you definitely won’t allow the last minute stress and anxiety that the holidays bring to get to you.
Keep it real…
Of course, we all want to get what we want and move forward. However, we must all be realistic and practical in our expectations. Therefore, expecting to make all those wonderful memories just with your partner and your family is not realistic. Be prepared to listen, appreciate, and take your partners traditions into consideration. Remember although we may not get everything we want, new memories and new experiences may help you both grow closer to each other!
Compromise…but you can’t please everyone
Compromise is a big idea here. Regardless of where you spend the holidays, you should spend it in a loving environment alongside your partner. Mom and dad may not be as cheery after you decided that you will spend Thanksgiving dinner with your partners family. However, compromising means that you and your parents both grew in your relationship…so be proud of yourself! Of course, make sure that with each compromise you are both content and fair…that is the key to a great relationship.